I got the call b/c mom's old cell # was only # the principal had for the wife.
They were saying he had a "meltdown" about having to go to d-hall.
They were also calling security, supervisors, police, etc. b/c he mumbled something to the teacher after his outburst and they heard the word "GUN" in there somewhere.
I immediately called my girls at home to check if he had been by the house or ?? He walked in the house right then and I had them put him on the phone.
It turns out, he did have an outburst and went out in the hall, but then he came back in and apologized to the teacher (but was mumbling)-- I asked for his exact words:
He said, "I'm sorry, I've got a lot goin' on"
I immediately figured out that they heard "gun" out of "goin' on"
Fortunately, I was able to get the principal back on the line and convince him that all was okay, before the SWAT unit showed up.
Otherwise, son would have had a loooong d-hall in the "Big House"-Crossbar Hilton, or Hotel Graybar. He might have met some friendly guys in there that would help him study biology.
Anyway, W called me and asked, "Why didn't YOU call me?!", in this gruff, bowed-up voice. I said, "I figured it would be better if the principal called you and explained it directly to you!"
She said, "It was a misunderstanding" --and I said, "Yes, I was the one that figured that out and convinced the principal to call the dogs off!!
She asked should I pull him out of school? (she was meaning to relocate him to the closer school where they now live) That woulld be the third school he goes to in this year. I said that won't fix the problem.
I said ALL the kids are having SERIOUS problems, are screwed-up, and are in at least two or three forms of counseling. I don't think she even knew her son was in counseling at all!
She said: I know it's a change and that's going to be rough on them, but they'll get through it, blah, blah --
I interrupted loudly and said: "NO! It's not "just a CHANGE"!
YOU NEED TO QUIT LYING TO YOURSELF THAT THIS IS JUST SOMETHING THEY WILL "GET OVER" LIKE A COLD OR SOMETHING.
IT'S THE DESTRUCTION OF THEIR FAMILY! THEY WILL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE AND IT IS SOMETHING THAT WILL AFFECT THEM FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE. IT'S NOT SOMETHING THEY WILL JUST "GET OVER" OR ever get over.
She got quiet and was listening (crying, also, I think). I told her, "You go on ahead with doing whatever YOU are gonna do, I'M ALREADY MOVING ON WITH MY LIFE!
BUT DON'T TRIVIALIZE THIS LIKE IT'S JUST SOME "CHANGE"! I've gotta go now, but I'll talk to you, LATER!
I wanted to go on about how this was the biggest mistake SHE had EVER made in her life, and she probably won't realize it for years, but maybe I should say that one next time. My thoughts/words were not clear at the time.
I think it gave her quite a bit to think about--she wasn't arguing anymore.
Much later, she was calling about d10's b-day party this weekend. Asking me what I wanted to do for it...I told her where we were going and what time to be there.
I wanted to say: Oh yeah, destroy her family and her life, but oh, here baby, we'll have a party for you!
I could still say it later.
I still want to tell her the biggest mistake speech.
I think she's actually listening, some---now that the screwy meds are out of her system. And-- when I'm being forceful and not puttin' up with her b/s lies she keeps telling herself!
Later, she was also very subservient and politely asked to come over for some more of her stuff tomorrow (the locks have been changed) I said, yes, what EXACTLY are you planning on taking? And she told me --and I said that would be fine.
Anyways, I gotta sleep --look forward to any responses, thanks...
M:48 W:35 S:16 D:15 D:10 Md: 12 & 1/2 years bomb: Jan 8 ? she moved out about then also Moved in w/OM soon after
