Yes, thanks. I have pretty much come to the same conclusion.
My xW cannot and will not be truthful. Everything she says now, everything she does, everything she is now... is a lie.
I cannot trust anything about her. Never. I cannot make peace with her. She won't have it, try as I might. As such, I cannot ever respect her, not anymore, and I already have zero respect for the OM.
So talking to her is absolutely pointless. I can be congenial towards her while maintaining my absolute wariness of her -- just as I might "respect" a snake or scorpion. But trying to find common ground with her is just no longer possible. She has consciously made me her enemy and I am going to take that seriously from now on.
I will no longer talk to her or respond to her directly or indirectly -- except where our children are concerned.
But on that score -- where our children's interests lie -- I will defend myself and my S's, and I will strongly respond to any offense she offers -- again, as regards our S's -- in a cold business-only manner. I refuse to be drawn into her drama anymore, but I will handle any affront that involves S9 or S5 with decisive swiftness and as much detachment as I can manage.
As for myself, I am moving forward again, distancing myself from her madness. I want to be a haven for my S's, away from the storms I see brewing in her future. Actually, my coming to grips with the hard fact that I just cannot maintain even a modicum of peace between their mother and I, even if it be for their sake, I am already starting to find it liberating.
I am just not going to pretend any longer that we can co-parent as I had hoped we could have. This is just a detente between former business partners, now opponents.
Will this work? I don't know. Is this best for our children? I can't say one way or the other. All I know is that since she refuses to cooperate in good faith, the "peaceful" path is just not working. I am facing that now, and thus taking a different path. We'll see how this approach fairs.
Thursday is the PC meeting, so perhaps I may amend part of this new stance based on what he might suggest. I don't know -- again, we'll see.
