"I.. I... I..." ..blame... blame... blame.. yadda yadda yadda..
At some point.. and it's a journey.. probably more so than the divorce process.. at least for me.. I work to let it go. And quite a few may point out that I still don't move quite on.
Yes.. a divorce is emotionally gut wrenching, financially devastating, confidence draining, all while you're losing a partner who's ardently leaving.. it sucks. But it is what it is.
And for your former spouse, it was over for her.. has been.
If there's remorse or embarrassment on her part... it's hers to own.. as is her happiness or joy. And the same is true for you.
It's okay and good to mourn. It's great to know your boundaries. It's great that she didn't walk in... and didn't come any farther than she felt comfortable.
There's a difference between always being nice and being healthy, having boundaries. Did you really want her in the house or were you being magnanimous, a good host? Which is true, your email reply of 'not wanting to get together with the taxes' or opening the home to her?
Take care of you. Do what heals you, keeps you from burning yourself on the hot stove (Dang, it's still hot. Let me touch it again to make sure!). Take care of you first.
