NC, I completely understand your anger. I don't see how WAS do that kind of stuff which does hurt the children, and be able to sleep at night! On the other hand, I also think she purposely baits you/tries to keep you angry and the war going between you so she can justify her past/present behaviors. When I was having that talk at lunch today, I thought of you and your X almost instantly.
I do think it would be interesting at some point for you to do a 180. What you've been doing isn't working at least not for you and your PMA; so maybe try doing the opposite. Detach and ignore her emails. Continue to be a great dad and focus on your wonderful boys, rather than your X and evil MIL.
I'm sorry you're going through this stuff. I do think things will get better; in fact I know they will... (((((nc))))))
