Yes, we want to kick ourselves and double-guess, and what if. It's natural.
But it's what we are on this site, and going to C if we can afford it, to learn to STOP.
I'm not pretending I have any answers. It's like I have memorized phrases in a foreign language--the hope is that with enough repetition, nudges from my friends here, C, and learning to sit with those darn emotions, that gradually the light will dawn--oh! that's what that phrase means! Now I can actually use it in a useful way.
I don't know that I agree with Pearl about how much we can choose/not choose the roller coaster. I think sometimes we find that the roller coaster has snuck up behind us, thrown us in the car, and off we go! And then the best we can do is: observe it. Accept the roller coaster. Sit with it. Know the ride will end soon. It might come back! But the odds are it will be a smaller roller coaster next time.
You are only fighting for what is right and best for you, and unfortunately money always feels ugly to talk about.
But you learned that water-off-duck is the best approach, so you can use that next time.
