She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

Don't fight it. It's normal. Ebb and flow.

Ha! am I in ebb, or am I in flow? 'cause they both suck!

ok, I need to stop my pity party.

1) I've got two wonderful kids that adore me, and are sticking by me.

2) I've got wonderful friends (both her and in RL) that support me.

3) I have a career that I love; I get to make money doing something I love

4) My family loves me.

5) I've got lots of options. Many others don't!

6) I'm healthy

My new direction in life can go anyway I want. I can choose for myself in the future what I want.

[Sister]

That's some good PMA!

[givingitmyall]

There you go! All @ focusing on the positive. Or, taking the anti-WAS view!

[Awoken]

Tonight, W sent me a text saying "call your lawyer, I can be out of the house in two weeks". I sent a very brief reply telling her I've scheduled a meeting with my lawyer for Thursday.

When I got home tonight, she was stomping around the kitchen. She is VERY angry. She said, "you said I never do anything, so now I am!" I guess she means that she is moving out. Since she was so upset, I took the kids out for dinner. Monday's are my night with the kids anyway, and I didn't want things to escalate.

I think a month ago I would've been so scared that her moving out would be the end of my chance to save my marriage. Now, I'm not as much scared, as sad that it's come to this. Of course, I won't be able to monitor her drinking, and I really shouldn't be anymore. I hope this change will do W some good, lead her to whatever she needs. Without her meds, and some way of addressing her drinking problem, I doubt she is going to find happiness.

I just need to keep moving forward.

[givingitmyall]

Hey man. Something I'm learning now - it's all about YOU and what YOU want and deserve. It's ok to be a little selfish right now.

Focus on what YOU can make YOUR life from here forward. What are the things you've wanted to do but couldn't?

[Gardener]

Awoken,

When I got home tonight, she was stomping around the kitchen. She is VERY angry. She said, "you said I never do anything, so now I am!" I guess she means that she is moving out. Since she was so upset, I took the kids out for dinner. Monday's are my night with the kids anyway, and I didn't want things to escalate.

Good move.

[flowmom]

Awoken, I hope this will be a change that creates some relief for you. Much as I miss H and wish he was living with us, I don't miss the negativity that he was sending my way. It's a lot easier to GAL and find little moments of peace and enjoyment throughout the day when you're not walking on eggshells.

[Gardener]

It's a lot easier to GAL and find little moments of peace and enjoyment throughout the day when you're not walking on eggshells.

Oh, yeah. Definitely. Gotta look at the positive side and this is at the top of the list.

[Awoken]

W texted me last night saying she is "mad because you want me out of the house". All I did was ask her what her time line was for the divorce, and now she says I'm the one forcing everything. I just told her "I'm sorry things are so tense in the house right now", and then stopped responding. I was playing music with friends anyway.

Tensions in the house have really escalated. I left my briefcase unattended for 30 minutes, and she went through it pulling out all the papers. She tried to put them back undisturbed, but c'mon.

School was canceled for the first couple of hours this morning due to snow, including her school where she teaches. Nonetheless, she got up and left the house bright and early, leaving me with having to cancel work to get the kids to school. It's fine, I enjoyed the extra time with S13.

He's not doing so great. He was very angry this morning about all things in general. I suppose that is normal for a teenager, but I'm sure the sitch makes it worse. He turns 14 this friday, and mom will be out of town doing a tri-athalon. She's never missed a birthday before. Money is tight, and she bought a $1200 bicycle. When she asked the kids to take a picture of her with it, they both thought she had lost her mind.

onwards, right?

[Awoken]

These quotes from GIMA's thread have me thinking more:

Your W has what is called masked depression. She seems "normal" but she is not. Inside she is in major trouble.

AND

What would it take to not hate her?

I guess my question is, what if she had cancer? Would you have more compassion for her?

If yes then remember she is sick just change the disease in your mind.

It's clear my W is sick: Bi-polar, Alcoholic, depressed. I took a vow of marriage, for better or for worse. Divorce is a problem for me.