flowmom | shifting from devastated to rebuilding

[flowmom]

Kalni, your post is really helpful for me. I need to keep in mind that there is no R between H and I. But realistic also means not getting stuck in hopelessness (which my IC warned me about). It's helpful to read that even the very worrisome aspects of my sitch don't mean there that is no future chance for reconciliation.

He cant be part of your lives now, not as an active parent. I get the feeling he is trying to get away from all that and only does the minimum.

On the contrary, he's been coming to help with the bedtime routine every night that he's not working, and taking the kids for much longer stretches than he ever did when he was living here. I think that he's 1. trying to establish a precedent of me earning more money and 2. trying to establish a precedent of him having the max custody of the kids that he is capable of with his work commitments -- I assume all on legal advice. And he doesn't want the kids to feel abandoned.