you think a lawyer is going to tell you to wait it out?
Mine did.
Mine did too. He was pro marriage and felt that if my marriage had a chance that I should wait it out.
I think it is good to be educated as to your legal options. I know that some divorce law back east just plain sucks when it comes to being fair towards fathers.
Information is a good thing. Knowing what your rights are is definitely justifiable...doesn't mean you are giving up. So it is good in my eyes.
Yes I am only trying to find out what make the most sense for me. I do not want a D BUT - I want to know what I am potentially looking at. At the end of the day the time with my kids is my # 1 priority. If waiting does not change that outlook - then wait I will. If waiting means that I may not have a chance at spending as much time with them as possible - then I will have to decided. I do not want a D but I also do not want to loose the time with my kids. Nor do I want to be taken to the cleaners because she is sick and may not come out of it. That may sound selfish to some but I do need to consider my kids and my needs.
At the end of the day...I'm just a Dad trying to make sure that I am not hosed. That is all. I also feel like I need to set some boundaries on what is acceptable behavior. All I am doing is finding out my opitions. I just recived a raise (yipee) and a very decent bonus. I will deal with the cash issues as my attny suggests. I will not (repeat not) do anything to make this easy for her. I understand that she is lost right now but that does not mean that I need to swim in her waters.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Cat - yes I am talking about custody issues. If waiting does not hurt my chances of getting them 1/2 of the time then I wait. If waiting means that I will probably loose that right then I have to consider what this means. Right now, her job schedule is not set if this is an advantage that I would not be able to leverage in the future then it is something that I need to think about. In addition, you have the whole financial aspect of this. I need to consider this as well. All I want is some guidance from the attny. I will make it very clear that my intent is to not go forward with the D but what does that mean. Historically in CT, men get the short end of the stick - if waiting guarentees that...well then I may not wait. Let's be clear here...I love this woman deeply - but I also love myself and my kids. In MLC no one has can say if they will ever come of out this. I just want to make sure that I am protected and understand what this means to me and my kids. Cat - trust me I really do love this women but I cannot control her I can only control myself. I am working on the GAL and the work on myself but I don't think I should not find out what this may mean to me. For example, if going dark has some legal ramifications then I can't do that. If exposing the EA has some benefit then I may need to consider this as well. Before I do anything I will ask for feedback. I promise.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I would like to apologize most sincerely if I offended you with the suggesstion that you were being 'selfish' heaven forbid. It's not like you were selfish anytime in the past concerning your marriage, right? I mean that would be just down right wrong of you to do and very very very wrong of me to imply.
However, IF you were a naughty nelly in the past and were selfish, I guess I would say that turning a new leaf isn't exactly just waking one day and deciding not to be selfLESS. I suppose that would take time and committment and the desire to do better. And maybe even have others point out when you aren't really walking that selfLESS line, cause I don't know...you asked them for advice.
You seem like one of those spinning plates on a pole, you ever see them? They keep spinning and spinning and eventually wobble and crash. Well...not in a circus, golly! There the jugglers keep them spinning and spinning..anyway. It seems like you are wobbling...alot! Make up your mind one day...change it the next. That must be hard on you. Wouldn't it be easier to stick with a course of action; don't you think?
The emotional affair, I just 'hate' those people don't you? Don't they know your wife is yours? Bottom feeders. Icky people.
I'm pretty sure that the lawery is going to say, "She is talking to another man on the phone in your house!!! We've got her now!! Please tell me you took pictures!" At least if life was fair that should happen, and then their feet get roasted in hell for it.
I also totally understand that if it came down to a chance to mend your marriage by making personal changes and being empathetic, or come out of a divorce with better posistion, I sure as surly know which one I would do, after all its all about who I respect right? It's what is in for me and my kids, my decisions should show what is important to me, what guides my dreams and hopes, shows me to be the man I want to see in the mirror. Right.
Again, sorry if you felt I was unkind is implying you were selfish.
Also sorry for being overly blunt before. Later I'm going to try and shite out a rainbow somewhere else too.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
