Feeling much better today. Thanks everyone for all the support. My dream is to one day be in the same position as Puppy and Allen where I'm hoping I can offer all this support to someone else.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
Way to go on not responding to the text mb...It seems like NC really does work for your sitch.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
flowmom, Thank you for saying that. But to be competely honest it has not been complete NC. In the last 4-5 days I have responded to a few texts and answered some of his calls. But mostly those are only about the kids. I know for my sitch, there is no way I can go completely dark. So I have to be strong and control my emotions and not let him bait me into a fight. I've seen him about 4 different times in the last week and I stayed strong, and only got emotional 1 out of those 4 times.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
Sorry for reposting this, I wasn't sure if anyone seen it the first time:
It's time to explain what has happened with his sister last week, because I think it might affect my H's decisions good or bad I don't know. His sister had to leave her H in the middle of the night; they have been married for about 10 years and have 2 kids. They live in a different state away from all of her family. It turns out that he has been beating her and has had multiple A. It's been a very abusive R. Now she and kids are living with her mom along with my H.
I'm pretty close with his sister, especially since we are both going through the same thing (mine not as bad as her's) and there is no way she can save her M. And she knows I want to save mine. I sat with her on Sun and told her everything that has happened, and she does believe her brother is having an A. Yesterday my H also mentioned to his mom and sister, that he is hoping to get his own place within the next couple of weeks. He has not brought this up in a long time. I'm thinking he can't handle seeing the pain his sister is in and it makes him feel even guiltier.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
Hi mb28. I had read it yes. This is a terrible thing to experience, but your H didn't have to phone you on your bDay to tell you this. He really didn't have to call at all, that in my opinion wasnt' an emergency... he just wanted you to make HIM feel better because HE was upset.
He could have waited on that, ironically he used that news as an excuse to call you and to pick a fight with YOU... I doubt he even saw the irony...
It's NOT good to have your H get his own place, it just gets him even more settled into a divorced lifestyle.
The news MAY wake him up a bit, it may not... it all depends on how HE interprets that... the problem is as we have said before he's allowing his impulses drive his decision making right now, and its hard to tell how he will be reacting to this news...
Yes he may feel guiltier... I hope his sister can convince him to live with her for a while to help her out... it will give you some great intel AND she can offer him advice that you funnel through her... which is exactly what he needs right now...
The advice in Geurilla Divorce Busting video is what he needs to hear... I wish I had a transcript of that vid, but I don't...
Sorry if you don't like vids, but there's way too much good stuff in that video... I can't type all that out... it would take me days lol
But maybe your sister can help you and him out... who knows...
I'm going to see my good friend this weekend, and I'll see if she'll watch the video. I did save it to my computer. Also next time I'm with his sister, I'll see if she will watch it too. I really enjoyed it by the way, thank you for sending it to me.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
mb28. A friend of mine was having an affair on his wife. He moved in with me for awhile. I showed him the pain and suffering he was causing to his family.
He is now home. Working on his marriage.
What happened to your SIL is horrible. No words describe the POS her husband was.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
I'm going to see my good friend this weekend, and I'll see if she'll watch the video. I did save it to my computer. Also next time I'm with his sister, I'll see if she will watch it too. I really enjoyed it by the way, thank you for sending it to me.
I would send MWD a thank you for making it
THAT is an excellent video to help convert your friends to your cause in my opinion... it saves YOU a LOT of talking and persuading... MWD does ALL your work for you in that video... you just have to hit Play and let Michele Go to work on yoru friends... I don't know ANYONE who has seen that video who wasn't moved to be an advocate for marriage...
I don't know if it will convert someone in an AFFAIR, but freinds who turn their head away may be persuaded well with that film
