Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Well I just replied with "so what day will you not be coming over that week?" because he takes a day off each week from coming over.

Hope that was "cool as a cucumber"

because I am not SUPPOSED to read anything into it. I just have to honestly admit that the last time I was caught off guard by him was when he asked if we wanted to get the Christmas tree together. But we all know what came of that...NOTHING.

He has "ruined" (his words) the last 2 birthdays for me.

[blownaway65]

NM, my kids used to love playing with the paper any present came wrapped in.

Not sure if you have these in US, but in OZ there's a thing called a "Jolly Jumper" - Google it. My kids would spend hours at a time just bouncing up and down like mini Bungie People.

So is your heart pounding in a good way or bad ?

[mindfull]

I'm thinking you should say...

"H, how nice of them to give you my birthday off!"

LoL

OR

"Cool! Where are we going for my birthday?"

LoL

Then again, I give awful advice!!!

[newmama]

Heart was pounding in a good way! HE KNOWS my birthday is the 19th...he will be here all day that day now. So then I wondered if it was because he just made other plans for Wed or Tues.

So that is why I also asked him what day he won't be coming over that week.

He replied "Tues or Wed- either one works for me so whatever is best for you."

I want to reply "neither is best- just get your ass home!!!"

I won't see him today. But I think I will just not respond to him for awhile so that I can "make plans" and get back to him!

You know, I should probably guess that he is just being nice and giving me that day off in case I want to go do something since he takes S that night. You know?

So I am thinking that I should not mention my birthday at all, right? And just see what happens.

[newmama]

Mindfull, I could ask him "where are you taking me for my birthday?" that week!

OR what if I tell him "actually, I have plans on the 19th. S and I are doing something special as a family to celebrate my birthday."

!!!!do I have the nerve?????

[mindfull]

<<<< Sending NERVE to NM!!! >>>>>

[newmama]

Thanks, MF, I think what happened is you sent me the nerve and I received a response in my gut that said "don't say anything at all." !!!

[P17]

Thanks, MF, I think what happened is you sent me the nerve and I received a response in my gut that said "don't say anything at all." !!!

Don't say anything at all to him about your birthday. Family and friends celebrate your birthday with you. He is neither.

To wonder what he is thinking or why he took those days off is nothing more than mind reading. It won't do you any good and just keep you wondering 'what if'. Wondering 'what if' doesn't allow you to detach. You need to detach in order to move on with your life. When you do that things will happen.

When he texted you about his days off changing, I wouldn't have bothered responding. It wasn't a question. It didn't need a response.

[newmama]

So I will make plans and just not tell him. And I won't allow myself to get excited....believe nothing they say and half of what you see.

The only present I want is him to tell me he ended it with OW!

And I know better to think it means anything- how many others on the board had birthdays while their spouse was gone, you know??

[P17]

So I will make plans and just not tell him. And I won't allow myself to get excited....believe nothing they say and half of what you see.

Well he hasn't said anything for you to get excited about, unfortunately.

The only present I want is him to tell me he ended it with OW!

You should focus on you though, not him. What he get's up to with OW is up to him. You concentrate on your life and S's life. Waiting for him to tell you it's over with OW is just focusing your mind on him and her. Wrong area to focus.

And I know better to think it means anything- how many others on the board had birthdays while their spouse was gone, you know??

Well me for one And it was a GOOD birthday.