WAH in MLC with PA

[Cyrena]

It sounds as though your H was probably trying to scare you/feeling out of control. If he shows up suddenly, call the authorities. Otherwise, have you considered recording his calls to retain evidence?

[DiamondGirl]

I spoke to the local police who advised me to at least report the incident to have it on record. He would then get a caution from them but would not get charged unless I pressed charges. They will come by my house after the kids are in bed, so there won't be an issue with them being afraid of a uniformed officer appearing.

The officer said at least if it is on record that he was warned, if he does escalate there shows a previous incident to support a he said/she said thing.

Why do I feel like I'm the one betraying him? How screwed up is that?

[Lostforwords]

Good....and yes it is screwed up, but that is how the MLC train rolls.

[DiamondGirl]

Would it be kidnapping if there's only defacto custody on my part? That's what the whole problem is.. disagreeing on custody wording..

[Drew]

I called the OW house when he got cut off when I was trying to reason with him.. he answered and got abusive called me the "c" word, then I hung up on him after telling him not to come home as there would be a warrant for him at the border....

Why did you call him after he threatened you? You don't have to answer that now. Wait until you're not as upset.

Good job on calling the police.

[DiamondGirl]

I'm calmer now.. still shaking, but calmer..

Because I'm an idiot trying to reason with an insane person?

I was in the middle of telling him that I didn't trust that he was going to follow through on things we decided on.. that he showed me that by his actions over the weekend when his phone died...

I've had OW number since the beginning really.. just never called it..

[DiamondGirl]

I don't have anything to record with.. but I didn't expect him to say something like this.. maybe I should have.. but you don't want to believe that of anyone.. (ostrich syndrome again I guess)

[DiamondGirl]

Deeper reason maybe.. residual anger from last night maybe? Wanting him to hear me out for once (though realistically I know I'm talking to a warped wall)... Maybe because I knew he was 8 hours away and no immediate threat?...

Any and all of the above combined perhaps...

[Jack_Three_Beans]

residual anger from last night maybe?

THAT anger is going to last a long time...as long as you let it last.

[DiamondGirl]

So I filed the report.. I expect fireworks as they will call him tonight or tomorrow and caution him at OW's house. I don't have the proof to press charges and so they advised me to get a recorder for the phone.. (gee.. where have I heard that before ) If he does it again and is recorded, they automatically press charges and I don't have a say in it.

The officer was really nice and as soon as I told him about the whole separation, he said sounds like a mid life crisis. So he got it..

Still feels like I'm the betrayer, but I'm working on that. His words have consequences too... And I deserve better treatment and need to protect myself.

Tomorrow I focus again on my kids and me... cuz tonight proved that I really am the only sane one they got for a parent...