It's hard to not DO something on behalf of the marriage. We all struggle early on with feeling like we should be doing something - all of us.
Conversations with your wife about kids and business type things - financials, etc - are not something you need to avoid. In general I think you want to avoid sounding like you're just being a jerk, so it's important that you try to stay who you are with the understanding that you're not interested in a casual conversation about the weather or a ball game with someone who wants a relationship with someone else.
Working on yourself, finding new things to energize you, working on areas of weakness...these things serve to make you feel better about yourself. They give you confidence and an inner strength that becomes your fuel to work through each day, even with this mess going on in the background.
Don't punish yourself. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes you do have to "fake it till you make it" with things like GAL, but I am inclined to think that if you're not having any fun, if it's not doing anything positive for you, you haven't found the right GAL activities yet.
This isn't a recipe. It's not like putting the right action pieces together is necessary for a successful outcome. Everyone's situation is slightly different, and every person is definitely different. Stick to the big overriding principles, but allow yourself to find your own way a bit too.
Find a happy life painter. Right now it has to be without your wife, but if you can't be happy without your wife, what chance do you ever have of being happy WITH your wife?
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
