me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Chatter, you sound so clear. It helps me to open my mind to the possibility of one day being OK with D.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I will copy and print out your post. You have succeeded in the DB'ing--not in the saving your marriage, which I guess we all know is a long shot. But in becoming the best man that CB can be.
You have learned so much about yourself--what you need, what you can give, what you want, how to love. Plus you are a kick-butt runner.
Inspiration, inspiration. Thank you.
I want to move out of Infidelity/Jealousy ASAP, so let's go do it! It's not infidelity when the first R is over; and in all my mixed up feelings, jealousy hasn't been high on the list.
Been schooling all week long. Going to get my Redhat admin certification in 3 months. Still living the PMA dream from my run. Taking a break from running. Going to start running again on saturday.
Alas, the world conspires to bring down the PMA. A cold has come on. I think I have enough PMA to battle it.
Either way. Going to my first Lacrosse game on Friday night. A friends 30th birthday party ( oh to be 30 again ) so it will be a guys night out. I hope the cold has retreated enough by then. And then Saturday night I have that jack and jill. During the day I will be taking care of a good buddy. His best friend's small child passed away so he is just an emotional wreck. So I will be giving him unconditional love.
Unconditional love. Such a beautiful concept. I understand it now. And I am proud to show it.
I have been making a new mix cd. This one theme is based on inner strength. I have been making it in a style that is completely new to me. I am letting the songs come to me. And it is becoming one of the most beautiful mix's I have made in my life. I am going to leak out one song from it. Such a beautiful song. It came to me today.
Here are the lyrics
I don't know if you notice anything different It's getting dark and it's getting cold and the nights are getting long And I don't know if you even notice at all That I'm long gone
And the things that keep us apart Keep me alive And the things that keep me alive Keep me alone This is the thing
I don't know if you notice anything missing Like the leaves on the trees or my clothes on the floor And I don't know if you even notice at all 'Cause I was real quiet when I closed the door
And the things that keep us apart Keep me alive And the things that keep me alive Keep me alone This is the thing
And I don't know if you notice anything different I don't know if you even notice at all
I am continuously in awe of the transformation you have undertaken. I didn't know you at the beginning of your situation, but can only enjoy following your growth.
Now... enough of that sappy sh*t!
Get rid of that cold!!! Vitamin C, maybe a vaporizer at night, and some chicken noodle soup!!!
LOVE the song! I have it on in the background now.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
OK Everyone - call to help - Pearl has mentioned this a couple times and Its finally getting to me. My friend TryTryAgain has been getting bad DBing advice for a while and I've been posting to counter -
Everyone get on TTA's thread and provide GOOD DBing advice - this person needs to see what DB is really about!!
TTA - You have been doing a good job of taking the few nuggets out of that advice and then discarding the rest. I am NOT trying to be horrible on here - but this is getting ridiculous. His advice is NOT DB - its important that people on here get the support this board is MEANT to offer. Mind reading, catering to your WAS, giving in, denying your feelings, and doing what you think your spouse would want based on what you think they are thinking is NOT DB. Thank you for posting as you have been lately - I don't think I'm the end all be all for advice, but I know bad advice when I see it. I'm hoping this call will get others posting for you so you can see that there is consistency in what I'm recommending.
Lets support each other the RIGHT way! T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
