Pre-bomb, we all do our best with the tools we've been given so far. You couldn't have prevented his MLC from being so damaging, because his entire childhood, teen years, home situation etc. put him on a collision course with that mess. Similarly, you can't blame yourself for not having better foreknowledge, coping skills, etc, because you really didn't know any better at the time.
Post-crisis, you do have choices in how you want to grow, what skills you feel you need to develop, what wounds you choose to heal and leave behind, what sort of woman you choose to become. Yes, it will hurt worse than you've ever been hurt--but it will be worth it.
Try not to mindread about how your H's affair will pan out. That really is his journey to complete, his choices to make. You can't know for sure that he won't work on himself, or that there isn't another soulmate ahead for you. Try to concentrate on what you can control: that rough diamond within that you've glimpsed and is well worth the polishing.
