I just want a second chance to start again with him... but I can't see it ever happening... he's just so far gone..and she's got him addicted to her.. she pulls back.. he pursues.. he pulls back.. she reels him in.. she spent years studying it.. so she knows how to do it well... How does a hold like that ever get broken?
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
Pre-bomb, we all do our best with the tools we've been given so far. You couldn't have prevented his MLC from being so damaging, because his entire childhood, teen years, home situation etc. put him on a collision course with that mess. Similarly, you can't blame yourself for not having better foreknowledge, coping skills, etc, because you really didn't know any better at the time.
Post-crisis, you do have choices in how you want to grow, what skills you feel you need to develop, what wounds you choose to heal and leave behind, what sort of woman you choose to become. Yes, it will hurt worse than you've ever been hurt--but it will be worth it.
Try not to mindread about how your H's affair will pan out. That really is his journey to complete, his choices to make. You can't know for sure that he won't work on himself, or that there isn't another soulmate ahead for you. Try to concentrate on what you can control: that rough diamond within that you've glimpsed and is well worth the polishing.
I miss my best friend and soulmate.. the one who used to say he wanted to grow old with me.. and he's gone.. and saying the same thing to someone else.. and I can't breath with the pain of it..
From the bottom, there can only come growth.....
What YOU take from this time is up to you now.....
You will still grow old...
You will heal...
You will be in another relationship...
AND.....it MAY be with your Husband....
You can choose to let this comsume you....
OR
You can choose to look in the mirror, and decide who YOU want to be.
Focusing on him, gives HIM all of YOUR power....
Very evident last night....
Choose YOU.....you will not regret that decision....
Because I'm not feeling like the prize right now.. I'm feeling like I'll never find that love again.. that I had it and misused it.. and I can't see it happening again with anyone else
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
Never being as happy again as I was on my wedding day and the years before it... never feeling that connection with anyone ever again.. that feeling of absolute rightness and love
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
