I am aware that collaborative divorce is a specific legal process and not just an intention.
While collaborative divorce may sound best it doesn't always work out that way. My H and I started off with a collaborative divorce and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It may sound less adversarial and maybe in some cases it is but I tend to think that is not always the case.
I don't know the legalities of collaborative divorce in Canada but I would imagine the general legal concept is the same as the US. Your H won't even look you in the eye right now. You have said time and time again how painful and upsetting that is to you. You do not feel you and your H can communicate at all. You have said this is painful to you. I can relate to that pain, many of us can. How exactly do you think divorce collaborations will go? I guess I would gently suggest that if you feel collaborative divorce is best to REALLY work on detaching from your H before you agree to anything. The things you will hear and see from your H during the collaboration process will be painful and without a healthy level of detachment the process will be very difficult.
Honestly, to even consider a divorce without the assistance of an attny is a very, very risk move IMO. You said yourself that you think your H is paving the way for a 50/50 custody split to avoid child support when in fact that is not how the law works in BC. You also have circumstances that fall outside the realm of "normal" with your son and the business debt.
Attnys are expensive, no doubt about it but at the end of the day you have somebody who knows the law, who is able to act as a "go between" and will look after your best interests in the thick of a very emotionally charged situation.
Of course you want to protect your children. Just be sure you are protecting yourself as well.
