My sister has BPD. She was diagnosed over a decade ago. She has been very well managed, leads a totally normal life, has two college degrees, a very good job and a very healthy marriage.
The only time my sister ever experienced extreme highs and lows (and when this happens it is horrible) is when she was not taking her medication properly or not taking it at all.
With any mental illness the biggest enemy is usually the patient themselves. Often times once a patient starts to feel better or "normal" they stop taking their meds and stop seeing their dr's. I can remember my sister being up for days on end and starting 25 huge household projects all at once then crashing for days and be unable to get out of bed. That was also the time when she decided she "felt better" and decided she didn't want to take her meds each day.
Many women also resist treatment as many of the treatments cause substantial weight gain. Both Lithium and Depakote are excellent courses of treatment for BPD but also cause weight gain. My sister took Depakote for years and struggled with her weight. She went from being a size 2 to a size 14 in a few months time. A few years ago she started taking Lamactal and as far as her and her dr's are concerned Lamactal is what works best for her. There are many, many drugs out there and I do think it is trial and error of what will work best over the long term.
Not seeing a psych for six months is not good. My sister sees her psych ever 6 weeks. The last "episode" my sister had was in 1999 and she was hospitalized. It honestly was one of the most frightening things I have ever seen. Her worse side effect from her medication is mild acid reflux that only flares up from time to time.
I guess I just wonder if in fact your GF is taking her meds on a consistent basis. If she is not then the highs and lows will never stop. If she is taking her meds and she still has such severe highs and lows then maybe she is not on the right med.
I can really relate to your fear and wondering if she is safe. Mental illness has so much negativity attached to it. The very sad thing is a good majority of the time there is medication that can greatly improve the quality of life. It's not different than a diabetic taking insulin IMO.
