While it is very possible that your H COULD have been going through this for the last 12 years, no one can say for sure.
I have read stories of it taking much longer than the 3-5 that we read about and then some that take much less. It really depends on our MLCer.
My H’s family has a history of depression, manifesting from simple depression to bipolar. He has also exhibited periods of depression throughout the entire time I have known him.
But yes, there comes a point where they simply cannot fight the MLC anymore. They MUST go into the tunnel.
Why didn’t he go to OW 12 years ago? Why did he choose now? I have theories, that I will share if you are interested, but no one can really answer that. I apologize for not going back to check, but this OW, was she his high school girlfriend?
Whether he has been going through this for this long, or this is something more recent…
Please know that there was NOTHING that you could have done to stop this. While there are things I am sure that you could have done to be a better wife, partner, those things WOULD NOT have stopped him from finally entering the tunnel.
All you can do is to keep going as you have, continuing to learn, and when you are ready the answers will come to you.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
