Newmama - I don't equate reality with worse case scenario. Your snarky answer really doesn't lend much to the discussion, does it?
At some point one has to examine the facts. In this case there are two very young children involved, a woman who is a full time caregiver (for the most part) and who is unable to financially support herself and her children (at this time) without her husband. There is a husband that opted to move out and away from the family "full time" and AT THIS TIME has not made any movement towards working on anything other than co-parenting. And working on co-parenting is a *good* thing but certainly not enough to rebuild a marriage AT THIS TIME.
It is imperative during any life crises, and being left in a marriage certainly qualifies as a life crises, to be hopeful about as much as possible. Without hope we as human beings have no reason to wake up each day. I would imagine despite being left in your marriage, dealing with an affair in a relatively short marriage as per your signature and a young child along with what is approaching a year long separation you must have hope of some kind. I would also imagine you have realistically examined the reality of your circumstances, the amount of time that has passed and began to formulate some sort of foundation for yourself as a single woman.
People save money in emergency funds and savings accounts. They are probably hopeful they will never have to use it but when a life crises occurs it certainly is helpful know you are prepared for "worse case scenario". In fact, people are applauded and told they are "doing things right" when they save money for worse case scenario. This situation is no different. Hope for the best, take active steps for the best possible outcome but prepare for the worse case scenario, or, depending on how you look at things the less favorable outcome.
Everybody on this planet would LOVE to go through life without any problems, conflicts or hurdles. It's not reality though. In the case of divorce the layers are deep. Obviously the emotional side of divorce, infidelity and being abandoned as a spouse are the most painful. The *really* hard part is dealing with that pain along with the logistics of life that can't be ignored (finances, insurance, legalities, custody). Partner deep emotional pain with life logistics that are complex and you are walking one tough road. Without hope we won't make it down that road. Without reality we won't make it down that road. What is the answer? Finding a balance is the best solution I have found thus far.
