New here but have been a voyeur

[Truegritter]

That's an interesting way to look at it. Highly risky sitch what is the reward? When you invest $ you get paid for the risk right?

My point in asking about the affection is that is something that is not really present with my W either. She is not he initiator of affection or real intimacy. I think it's the empathy thing.

I think there is no reason you have to commit to him right now. He has had you under the gun with this lease thing. You are in charge here. Let it ride for a while and see what happens with him. He is trying to press you bc he wants to control. I would defintely make it a condition thathe has to be in therapy for is empathy issues. Treatment is a block box though. My W is in treatment but I don't know what's going on there. She only sees dr. 20 mins a month so I think it's more for meds. Maybe someone else can offer some advice here but I think the empathy thing is a big red flag and not sure it can be treated.

I think it comes down to what you want. You know you got a risky sitch here. It depends on how much work you are willing to put in here. You're young so if you look at this objectively-as an investment- would you make the investment? Will the pay off be big enough? Only you can say. You have to weigh your values and how much they will be compromised by either decision whether you stay or go.

Gritter