Also, I have an appt with another doctor at the end of March that I'm hoping I can finally get on some med.
You know, it just makes me so angry. I've stuck by hiim through everything - not having jobs, having an affair, finding out he has been with prostitues for 4 years. I know he is a good person and better than all those things. Why can't he see it in me? It makes me so sad. He is very scarred by the way that I treated hiim at one point in time - yelling, name calling. I was hurt and resentful and didn't know how to handle it properly. I'm trying to show now that it can be different but he honestly brings up stuff from like 5, 6, 7 years ago - "Remember that time on my birthday in 2003, when you yelled at me..., etc" I feel horrible and I know that he must be in a lot of pain but it's like you're not an angel either. I haven't said this to his face I'm just saying it on here.
I guess all I can do it be consistent with my changes. I can say that I have been happer with the changes I have made. I feel more in control of myself and I feel like I'm really trying to make it work even though it's hard.
Anyone else with advice? I could really, really use it!
