I will let you know how the weekend goes. I really hope it turns out well. I hope for you that you both can go into the weekend with the "open mind and heart" they desire. I am not sure my W is entering in that mindset.
You situation is somewhat the same actually. As my W indicates that I was too convincing and overwhelming in my love that she was swept up in my passion, ie. she was too impulsive and agreed to marry me.
So she indicates her loved died and will not come back. Thus the "trying" but losing the battle. Trying to save the marriage and the family but losing so far.
So to Lotus that is the explanation for the name, I understand your points but a little less demeaning might be helpful. I am confident in my ability to try and am being strong for my family for 8 months here but the complete loss is a black cloud I try to forestall.
TBL now equals "Toward Better Love" M-44 W-42; 2 kids; married 11 years 1st bomb 10-08, reconcile 12-08 2nd bomb 8-09, moving toward reconcile 3-7-10