Last night was very interesting. W came home and I tried to appologize and was given the finger and told "I'll talk to you later". I went to the gym with the boys and when I got home she was on the phone again with her EA friend. Who knows if it is a PA. I have to say that I bite my tounge but expect that she will contact a L in the next day or so (she is off on Wed and Thurs). She is completely disconnected and quite frankly I've really had enough of this. I do love her and my kids but I also love myself and I cannot continue to be treated like a piece of sh*t. I know that I am angry but I think I'm really getting close to the point that I am done. I understood that some of things that I did in the past were wrong. It is not MY fault that she did not have boundaries. It is MY fault that I did not work on my issues until now. She also spoke to her friend that directed her to a lawyer the last time. They have not spoken in a while so i suspect that she will move forward with the D if for no other reason but so that she can begin a PA with the EA person. Knowing her she would not want to sin against GOD by having a PA while she is married. So i suspect that by moving forward with the D she will at least have some piece of mind. I also believe that she will suggest that I stay in the house since she understands that financially it would make more sence. I am not sure I am ready to do that but if it means being with my D then I think I'm up for it. I will say that the phone calls with the co-worker are a little tough to handle but I know that this is a normal feeling that i am going thru. This grieving process really stinks. I am very close to contacting my attny and starting the process first but I will not do anything until I cool off.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
