I'm sorry I went ballistic like that.. I guess it was better here than on the phone with either of them...
No need to apologize. That is one of the things this board is for...
And it allowed you to get it out and not do something stupid.
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and that my kids will one day not be my kids any more.. and that I won't be able to protect them from H's craziness...
You will never lose your children if you remain the rock for them...
However you won't always be able to protect them from things in life that may hurt them. All you can really do is try to guide them through the difficult times.
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I can't believe the anger THIS challenge has brought out in me... Where the heck did MY sanity and balance go?
Where the heck did all that anger come from?? I don't recall ever being that angry before...
MLC will challenge you in ways that you never imagined.
Right now, the person you knew…has become someone you don’t know at all.
When we have children, we plan to be there for them throughout their lives. It is an unspoken promise.
When we get married, we take vows. We stand up, infront of others, and we promise each other things. That we are no longer individuals, but a team. Teams are supposed to work together through things.
MLC is a total destruction of that. So not only are we hurt by actions and words, but we are left feeling shut out, the TEAM has been destroyed, but what is worse, when the bomb is dropped, we realize that the TEAM has not been working well for a long time and we didn’t know it. So we feel stupid. IF there is OP, we feel like we have been replaced.
MLC shakes us to the core in the way a natural disaster might. We feel like we have lost everything, our love, our security, our friend, our partner, our life.
And it makes us angry and scared. Having it repeatedly thrown in our faces for months and months (or longer) is a constant reminder of it. Kinda like the aftershocks from an earthquake.
With time, you can find ways to release the anger. As you rebuild YOUR life, and HIS actions don’t rock you as much because you are stronger.
Keep coming here and venting and listening and learning.
You are doing good.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
