For Sandi2

[elscotto]

Sandi, believe me I have many bouts of tough love at the hands of people that care about me or maybe like you, care enough about others to make a response. I was in no way offended by and appreciated your comments.

What are your thoughts wrt Puppy Dog Tails and what and how to handle the kids and what they know. I don't want to do (more) damage but also feel like I should say something to them. I have even wondered what I would say should they just flat ask me about it or bluntly ask me something like "did mom cheat on you?"

This affair started last summer when I sent my kids, her, her parents, and my mother to Asia as a part of the martial arts club they are in. I'm pretty sure that's where a connection--emotional and most likely physical happened so we are basically 7 mos into the affairs beginning.

I don't know how long before it runs its course-if it ever does--stranger things have happened I suppose. It just seems improbable with everything that is working against it. People tell me that I stand a pretty good chance of having alreay moved along by the time that it starts losing intensity and that I should prepare myself for a potential attempt at rconciliation. I was pretty brutal with her in the speed and terms of the divorce so my sitch may be different than most vanilla cut and dried divorces.

Who knows-here I sit typing and mentally considering whether I'd ever be with her again if the situation presented itself after what she's done to me so I guess its not out of the realm of reason that she might look past the divorce settlement and someday not hate me.

She told me she agreed to the terms of the divorce-she just didn't realize all the nuance, tax law, and ramifications to what she agreed to. She also agreed to no maintenance and child support because of split custody but 2 mos into the divorce was complaining to me that my costs for the children had gone down "because you have always supported their entire costs and now you only pay half." Remember--she was a stay at home mom before we started opening some businesses in 2005. I have always had high paying jobs and I quit the corporate world in 2005 to open the first business with her. We lived out of savings and financed the businesses opening for 2.5 years until I thought things looked shaky int he economy and hopped back in just as a safety net in case the businesses didn't prosper the way we wanted.

Soooooo she walks out with a business that makes 100k a year and 700k in cash, no child support, no maintenance, and half the equity in the house that I paid her cash for. I put her through an MBA program while she was a stay at home mom, she hasn't had a W2 in 16 years, and is now on her own with the business she took from the divorce.

Thanks all for your observations!!