Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

Posting this in response to Jack's request for the sitch between my D13 and my W. It is long, sorry.

Let's see if I can spin the sitch with my D13 and W without catching too much wood. My W is the major factor here but I do accept responsibility for some of the knowledge my D13 has about my W's affairs and promiscuous activities.

August 25,2009 Dumb a$$ day for me, day I threw my W out of the house. When wife came back to house with Sherriff's deputies in tow, D13 was with her, D13 had been at soccer practice. D13 was confused and I said "do you want to know why I am throwing Mom out?"
Of course D13 said yes and I told her that mom cheated on "us" I purposely used the word "us" here. That night my W filled her in on the details of the EA and one time PA with OM#1.

W issues a Domestic Violence Protective Order against me court date is set for Sept 3, 2009. We are supposed to be no contact but she is talking to me and over at the house everynight. Kids are with me at house and W is at neighbor's house. W tells kids that she is coming back after court date in a week. Kids happy, me happy, wife sorta happy, everything is going to get better from here....right, wrong!!

Enter Christian IC and or whacked out friend she is staying with.....she voluntarily drops the DVPO but decides to stay out of the house, I don't know this for sure but I think it was on the advice of the IC or whacked friend. Either way D13 gets pissed at W for not coming home. And it goes down hill from there.

Sept 13,2009 W's IC puts her in contact with lady that rents her a room dirt cheap, further aiding the destruction of the family. thank you christian IC who goes to our church
D13 getting more pissed as W starts telling lies and rewriting history.

October 1, 2009 W starts the distancing again and D13 is starting to not talk to W b/c she senses something is wrong with Mom. Mom saying that she can't be in same house as Dad at the same time. guilt for one night stands and eventually OM#2 affair

October 28, 2009 Joint counseling session with W and D13 to resolve issues. W promises D13 that OM#1 is biggest mistake in her life, would never happen again. All the while she is 2 to 3 weeks in a hot A with OM#2 and is still in contact with OM#1. The counseling session is not good for D13, she feels like Mom and C were bashing me, and she did not like that.

October 30,2009 I am supposed to go out GALing. Instead I get stupid, (puppy would disagree), and I go by Dept store where W is working PT, I pop the trunk of her car and there is her purse, grab it dig through and find the extra phone, full of sext messages to OM#2 and also OM#1 contacts are on there and there have been calls, I go into the Dept store. Confront W infront of God and everyone big scene. Second dumb A$$ moment of my life, (it actually wasn’t that bad). Go home instead of out for the evening, DUH Go upstairs to my room and flip on TV, I was actually okay. D13 comes in with 20 questions, why are you home? Whats wrong? Etc. She wasn’t expecting me until late, and I was home at 9:15. She presses and I say
“mom and I had another fight”
D about what?
M She is lying again.
D about what?
M nothing, don’t worry about it.
D WHAT IS IT, Dad you said you would never lie to me.
M …………….Mom is dating another man.
D WHAT, she just told me 2 days ago that OM#1 was the biggest mistake in her life.
3 hours later my D13 is in my bed with my S9 and I am on the floor b/c my D13 is afraid that mom is going to come to the house to hurt her. We slept with the bedroom door locked.

October 31, 2009 W was supposed to come over and get the kids to spend the day with them, now she wants to come over to talk to D13 but does not want me there. D13 is scared but wants to talk to Mom. I get close friend’s W to come over and be with D13 while mom is here and I leave, heavily medicated at this point. Story as follows related to me by good friend’s W (they know everything)

30 minute yelling match between D13 and mom. Mom tells D13 she can’t help herself, she’s addicted to “attention from Men”, there were other men after OM#1 and current OM#2 ie ONS (one night stands), thought that Dad hired OM#2 to seduce mom b/c he is everything she is looking for in a man (complete looser, unemployed, house in foreclousure, DUI, separated from his W for 3 months and he is an alcoholic.) W promises that she will stop seeing OM#2 if D13 wants her too. D13 says yes and W says okay, and she leaves, sorry there is more but I hit the high points.

November 19 2009 W drops son after spending one hour with him for dinner. Normally spends 3 hours on a Thursday night, I know she is off to see OM#2. I have been in contact w/ OM#2’s W and tell her I suspect my W is with him now. OM#2’s wife does not want to drive out to check unless she knows my W is there, he lives 5 miles away from me. I tell D13 I had to run to the store and will be right back. Go by his house and there is my W’s car in the driveway. I call his W and tell her and go home, no biggie. Get home and D13 already knows where I was. She asks, “Is mom with him?” I could not lie and I said “Yes”. D13 and I stay up until 2 am talking, I fill her in on more details of OM#1 and what went wrong in mom and Dad’s R. D13 is remembering things and also remembers the lies Mom told over the summer to cover the A with OM#1.

Meanwhile, OM#2’s W goes over to the house with camera in hand and catches her H and my W in the Bed together. Pics and everything, reads them the riot act, this is the end of A #2, (puppy would be proud).

November 20, 2009 My W goes to OM#2 house in AM to officially break it off. My W says " big mistake, I can tell you still love your W, Blah, blah, blah." My W goes to work and starts sending out suicide threats and leaving notes and crap that she has nothing to live for b/c I will be able to use pics against her in court, and she has nothing to live for. She spends the next week in the hospital under suicide watch. D13 knows about this too, SIL told S9 that she was in the hospital. That is how the kids found out about that.

This is about where I started posting to the Boards so my threads are not that long if you stick with my posts you will get the story.

The only other major event is the facebook incident as I refer to it on January 2, 2010. This was the last straw for my D13 and since then has not seen or spoken to my W.

There it is in all its glory, I feel I am responsible for my D13's initial knowledge but it was my W's continued behavior and lying that caused the rift between her and my D13.

I am still very optimistic about things, I know that I will be alright no matter what happens and the kids are okay. I have had them pretty much 24/7 since August 25th and the fact that there is no back up, no safety net, nothing gives me strength to do everything I am doing. I know God has given strength to handle this. I can't begin tell you the times I have ball up on the floor wanting to give up, but I manage to get up and pull it together and be the Man I never was before.