WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

I'm sorry I went ballistic like that.. I guess it was better here than on the phone with either of them...

I would not have known about any of it without D3 piping up.. That's what gets me.. I feel like I'm losing my family one by one to this MLC crap... and that my kids will one day not be my kids any more.. and that I won't be able to protect them from H's craziness... Yes I know that meeting the OW is not exactly a crazy event.. and I most likely will not find out if they went to a hotel with the kids, but he is so unpredictable and seriously confused right now, it scares me. So opposite from the calm, confident man I fell in love with.

Is he in a MLC? Absolutely...
Is he screwed up in the head? Absolutely..
Was he always this way; selfish and angry? Never.. smiled a lot, playful and kind yes... Some angry moments but they flared and went away (so I thought anyway...)

Am I an unforgiving sort? I didn't think so... Usually if I can see the motivation behind things, I let it go if it wasn't intentional... If it was intentional, I try to figure out why the intent...

I have dealt with many challenges in my life, due both to intentional and unintentional acts, and have gotten past them.

This challenge.. I don't know.. Some days I just wish I could just take the easy way out like H has done throughout our R.. but I'm just not built that way.. and there IS no easy way out of this challenge..

I can't believe the anger THIS challenge has brought out in me... Where the heck did MY sanity and balance go?

Crap I worked for years on myself before I met H to overcome the things that happened in my life.. but now it seems I'm starting from scratch again... But with two kids depending on me to be there for them too.. since their dad has checked out of reality..

Where the heck did all that anger come from?? I don't recall ever being that angry before...