Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

lost,

There is actually a book that I need to get called "Parents who Cheat" Ana Nogales. I read through it early on in my sitch and decided it was not for my D13 but I need to revisit the ideal. The other part of me wants to insulate my D13 and somehow turn back the hands of time and give her back her innocence but that is gone forever. My D13 has very much "been abused" I sought out a specialist in this area, she deals with children that are abused physically and mentally. On October 30th my W, mentally abused my daughter by telling her about one night stands, OM#2, being addicted "to attention from men" and she could not help herself. (D13 knew she meant "addicted to sex).

BTW, Thank you Tiger for your timing in my sitch, let me tell you about the drive by media and his stupid A$$. Everytime the news is on briefly I might add (I try to turn it off, but D13 sometimes watches) when that clinic in Hattiesburg, MS D13 says "thats wherec mom needs to go".

To Jack's credit and you guys don't know all of it, my sitch is extraordinary to say the least. I take it a day at a time and I am actually optimistic that it is going to work out. There have been many baby steps, even tonight my W mentioned "working on it" unprompted by me, of course she was saying that the only reason she would not work on it is b/c she thinks I haven't changed. Next sentence she said "You have changed", I said nothing just kept listening, Baby Steps.

With your daughter just being a child, she probably has little idea or even comprehension of what you are doing. To her (and let's say most people until they see that works) is probably as foreign to her as people from Poland.

I think my approach here with respect to my daughter is to get her to a point where she can deal with her anger and other emotions. I have given the her Therapist the 6 stages thread and I was going to give her some books but to be honest her Therapist does not even comprehend why I have not given up on my W. This is the path we chose, lonely as it may be. It is my goal and I think my D13's Therapist understands that my decision is just that, MINE and that my D13 does not have to agree but can learn to accept it and live with it. I am not so sure that educating my daughter on MLC is the route but I understand what you are saying and actually there was a moment last week.

I was taking my daughter to school and I said something to the affect that

"I know you don't want to see you Dad get hurt but I know what I am doing and I know what your Mom is doing, she is not fooling me. I still love her and she is very confused right now and the things she has done/ is doing right now are terrible but we have the power to forgive and the choice to Love and I chose to Love your Mother. I think you do to and if you give her time the Mother you know and Love will come back."

Wine break, you guys are awesome have one on me!!!!