Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

"I could do this, except she was mean to the kids yesterday that vile back biting bicth! They actually saw her WAVE the the OM in the store! I cannot imagine the mental dmage that did to them!"

Make more sense?

This is the conudrum I find myself in is that my daughter has expressed to me that she could forgive what Mom has DONE in the past but Mom has to stop doing it, meaning slutting around town and pursuing OM.

Everytime, my S9 calls my W to say goodnite and she does not answer or return the call, we all know what she is doing. I stop short of telling her this b/c that would be controlling and it is simply not my place. D13 has had some knock down drag out yelling matches with my W and has put this point to her. Jesus said "I wash of your sins go forth and sin no more" these are the words my D13 used with my W. D13 has the capacity to forgive but wants my W to do the right thing. What D13 doesn't understand is that my W, her Mom is going to do what she FEELS like doing no matter what and it is are job to help her FEEL like being a mother and a Wife again. Changing Feelings and changing actions are two different things. I have told D13 that we could impose our restrictions on Mom but if she does not FEEL like doing the things we would like her to do they won't last.

This is where every sitch is different, my W is one stubborn red headed b!t&h when it comes to arguing, and I wouldn't have her any other way, it is part of the challenge IMO. When she gets backed into a corner she starts attacking and this is what she has done with my D13. D13 is right on every level but then my W pulls out the "I am your Mother card and you are only 13". This is the tough part for me, it doesn't even take a 10 year old to sort this out, who's right, who's wrong blah, blah blah. What I have learned in my journey is that it really doesn't ucking matter, it is all about how my W FEELS after the point is proven. If she doesn't feel good about herself after I slam her with my logic, I still lose BIG TIME, only took me 19 years to figure that one out.

Now I have to try to tell my D13, who by the way is a young woman also, that sometimes being right can be the wrong way to go and it is more about how we feel and that is a big ole grey area about the size of Texas...ehh hmm.. I mean Alaska.