flowmom | shifting from devastated to rebuilding

[flowmom]

I guess I am unclear as to why you think your H feels you will punish him in a divorce? Has he ever said anything like that or is it simply what you think?

H has witnessed many many Ds in his almost completely male workplace. H has told me that many of the Ds are extremely adversarial with frequent custody battles and "financial terrorism". He's mentioned this in passing over the years, but specifically referred to it around separation, making it clear that he will be honourable around his financial responsibilities. But he also referred to his colleagues' advice that he should establish a precedent of getting the kids to have overnights so that it would be harder for me to move far away from H, etc. So custody battles, etc are not just theoretical to him. He is being actively coached on preventing this stuff from happening by his "friends" at work.