It seemed to me that your description of giving a lengthy massage to your W, after which she--disappointingly--only pulled you into missionary-position sex, was an example of her doing a minimum in order to stay in the moment herself.
So, your W grew up observing first hand a SSM, meaning that on some degree that's where her childhood comfort level was set.
What caused your MIL to hate men, sex, etc, so desperately?
