Possibly, but I have faced the news of being separated from my wife. At this point, she is free to do whatever she wants as she had professed to living her "selfish" phase.
Her commitment in our relationship has never been questioned in the past and while she may not be in line for a reconcile now, she isn't going to end it without giving the family their just due of us trying to make it work. She might - but I doubt it as our son has no comprehension of the word "divorce".
After 20 years, she is tired and needs a break from my roller coaster of negativity and stress/emotion management issues coupled with the vices. No, it hasn't been pretty for her.
I am going to give her the space she needs to identify who she is and in turn, I am going to do some work on myself, make myself a little less available to her, start working out, maybe get my hair colored but definitely making a sound investment with my 9 year old son.
I am getting a life and beginning to see the light of day that I am a good person who aspires for much more in life than a single dimension automaton who merely produces the monthly nut.
She deserves better than my single dimension and I deserve better than a woman who believes she can multi-task an online affair with her family and marriage.
Yes, I do!
Here is what I did to get a life today:
1) Positive affirmations on the way to work a. Think Positive b. Project how you would like to be viewed by people c. Look forward, not back 2) Played 25 minutes of street hockey with my son 3) Had an Eye Doctor appointment 4) About ready to sit down with a cup of tea and read a book, "The Men They Will Become" written about the idea of raising your son to be a man.
While I haven't been in this spot long, I am in the best spot I have been in since the bomb dropped.
All I can say to people in my position out there is:
Just do it - move on, look forward, let go of the side of the pool and start to float again.
I spent 20+ days wrapped around the axle and what it took was for me to accept change and figure a plan to subdue the emotions.
