So tell me.. what other sleeping options could there have been? Autistic and toddler cannot be alone in a separate room especially since son is going thru puberty.. connecting doors? maybe... but he'd still be sleeping in the same bed with the ho within view of my kids... Still BS!!!
That's just it....we don't know? Who knows? Why "what if" all this and make things much worse?
Isn't that grounds for monitored custody visitation? Not considering the kids when exposing OW?? Maybe I am MEANT to file for sole custody and win! Maybe that is one of his downfalls!! Right now it is really easy to believe that is so!!!
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
ANd I really really want to do something right now to show the lying cheating Psychopaths this BS is unacceptable!!! How many other instances has there been where MY kids have overnighted with the "soulmates"??
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
I think I would totally feel the same way as you...we are mother bears when it comes to our kids. YOU have to be the better person for your kids...listen to what the guys are saying and take some time to let the anger pass. I did a dumb thing after I got D papers in the mail and decided to contact OW's church...I emailed the whole sitch the the Pastor...a couple of hours later I calmed down and and totally regretted doing that! Luckily, I had the wrong church! How embarrassed was I. The good thing that came out of it was that the Pastor told me that he would be praying for me/us! I'll take all the prayers I can get!
Just take some time, calm down and breath! Try not to put his family in the middle...am sure they know it is wrong what he is doing but they are his family! Hang in there!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I remember, the first time my H went through this…
Our S was 4 and in daycare. I was at the school picking S up, and H walked in, had run a call (ambulance) in the area. He wanted to take S out to show him the truck. I asked H if SHE was there (she was his regular partner) and H said yes. I said no way. H looked at me, with more hate in his eyes than I have ever seen and told me “you are F’ing nuts,” and walked out.
Leaving me standing there, holding my S, who had NO IDEA where his daddy had just gone. Why he couldn’t see the ambulance.
From my selfish desire to protect my S (so I thought at the time) I was the one left looking like the “bad guy” in both of their eyes. I hurt my S while I was trying to protect him (so I thought), when in reality I was actually trying to protect MYSELF.
From having to feel the pain of my child meeting, and maybe liking, the woman who was taking my husband. Who, in reality, while not the most moral person IMO, really was not too bad of a person.
Truth be told…
S is now a teen. He DOES NOT remember the details of that time, however, he DOES remember the fighting and arguing and name calling.
Please slow down and breathe.
And answer this question…
How are your children? Was your D in tears and telling you horrible things, or was she relaying the details of the day?
Right now, it does not sound to me like your kids have been hurt, but YOU are hurt.
If you do ANYTHING from this state of mind, YOU will be the one hurting YOUR children.
And THAT is something you will remember…
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
How the heck can we ever come back from this? Why would I want to salvage something when someone sees fit to stomp all over my heart and thinks nothing of traumatizing and confusing the kids with his actions!!!
You can come back from this. It is possible, but not if you are an unforgiving sort, it is possible if he seeks it out and you don't lord his mistakes over his head. It is possible if you both work together toward it. Right now isn't that time.
Diamond, do you believe your H is having an MLC? Is he screwed up in the head? Was he always this way; selfish and angry?
If he is having an MLC, then your heart is the least of his concerns.
As for traumatizing the kids... you make it sound like there going to end up like Alex from a Clock Work Orange, and that is not the case.
You are projecting your anger and using the kids as the outlet. You are traumatized and you are confused. They are as well, but by God, because of that now you are even more so.
Diamond, you are really new here. You need to stop the assumptions in your head, and for the record, if I had a crystal ball, and knew what was going on, I wouldn't tell you.
This hard f-ing road is for you to walk, to be a better person.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
