Donna, there are books on emotionally abusive relationships, which narcissism certainly creates. Two come to mind, Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse by Gregory L Jantz and The Emotionally Abusive Relationship by Beverly Engel. My wife had/has narcissistic traits, so my IC said. I too wonder why I stayed so long in a R that was giving me nothing particularly healthy. I still believe part of the reason was that I did not want to give up family, I couldn't do that to the kids unless I saw no other alternative and that day did come until then I DB'd!But another part is that maybe it was easy to be in a R where the lines were clear "it's all about me, baby!" and I'm a caregiver so I went for it. When a R centres on one person you don't have to risk sharing yourself, your fears, your dreams...you just try to please. In many ways it's a really simple and uncomplicated R, you know the rules and they never change. Anyway, I'm just just thinking out loud Glad you're feeling better.
