To add to the above, the problem was that it was very hard to "stay in the moment" while ML because I was trying so hard to prevent various negative/uncomfortable thoughts from breaking through. Therefore, *anything* which caused me to lose that focus on ML--even if it was just a gentle "consultation" from my H--caused me to lose the moment (and any momentum that had built up).
WOW, that is interesting. Thank you for sharing that. I will have to think about that. That must have been a real tightrope that your husband had to walk.... don't hesitate on his part and yet don't do anything to push you over the emotional edge. That could cause some real performance anxiety problems in the bedroom for a man.
As to FIL he was hiding in the basement most of the time with his hobbies after he retired. Literally, he would go down to the basement to work with woodworking or metal working tools all day and after dinner or he would spend much of the day outdside doing yardwork or in a greenhouse. He was in the house but for all purposes "gone."
My wife was really emotionally abandoned by both her parents. In additional as I said I think that there was some real emotional abuse from my MIL. The MIL was committed by her husband to an alcohol recovery program a couple of times. I would also not be surprised if MIL didn't say negative things about her husband and "men" in general to my wife, when my wife was a little girl.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
