Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Hey Swiss Miss.

Your wife and daughter need to figure shitt out.
Mediated or otherwise. But not with you in the room.

Have you ever mentioned how it got that bad with your daughter and your wife?

[MHL]

I am sure I am recycling this from a few years ago so flunk me on originality. :p

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
but Jack was not so quick over that stick

The wick was ablaze and the flame was hot
So when Jack jumped something got caught....

Now the name Jack Three Beans might seem a bit odd
Because Jack three beans is a couple of beans short of a full pod!!

Welcome back Jack,
Hope the cabin was as great as it looked online.

I will post the effed up sitch with my D13 and my W later tonight. Tried today but those pesky people we call customers kept interupting me trying not to work.

I will give everyone the whole stupid, technicolor detail b/c this seems to be my major issue at hand. Maybe get some wood and some advice.

It's Miller Time (Corona Lite for me!) here in the EST, going home to grill some steaks with the kids!!

Remember, Bob Marley says, "Every little ting' gonna be alright".
That's going in my signature tonight.

[Cadet]

Tried today but those pesky people we call customers kept interupting me trying not to work.

My bank was busy today too!

[dwinter82]

Bob Marley, Corona light and steaks...you are my Hero!!

Tell D13 and S9 I said hi from St. Louis.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

The only lumber I'd be bringing to the field is the following concern.

You love your daughter and you love your wife.

Your Daughter's reactions, emotions, control she has on you, the whole ball of wax...

Your situation is going to be tougher than many here.

To put simply, a situation that is FAR from simple.

Where does your loyalty lie?

Your wife in MLC land. Who is making HORRIBLE choices and the fallout of those choices...but who likley wouldn't if not for some fukced up switch in her silly little head?

Your daughter who deserves your loyalty...but...BUT, by words and deeds is pushing you away from your wife...her mother?

You have a fine line to walk.

It would be EASIER if your wife and daughter actually got along without the the anger seething off of your daughter.

Your daughter is pushing you in the direction she wants you to go. And I am worried that you will placate her wishes. Which could be easier since the LBS tend to take up the RALLY cry: "BUT FOR THE KIDS I WOULD SUFFER HELL!"

And...your daughters direction...its almost overwhelmingly easy to take.

Your wife...switch in her head, her broken head. MLC...temporary.

Your daughter...at 13 is making a choice to despise her mother that will last... a VERY VERY long time, if not a lifetime.

Hatred isn't born overnight.

I'd say your caught in the middle. But you are not.
Your daughter wants her gone.
Your wife wants you gone.
You want to be a family.

Plan accordingly.

[Cadet]

Your daughter...at 13 is making a choice to despise her mother that will last... a VERY VERY long time, if not a lifetime.

Sorry Jack I have to call you on that. My D23 went through that stage. She hated her mother but it is a stage. More of a girl stage. My D23 does not hate her mother anymore they grow out of the teenage stage. Now remember my D23 is bipolar and my W ???? so this was the precursor to all these events. But D23 loves her mother even now!
So that is my $.02

[Jack_Three_Beans]

...Point.

But secondary.

Are you saying that a 13 year old child who doesn't want her mom in her life should affect the choice of the husband to stay married?

[figgeroni]

she absolutely should not effect that decision but I guess I don't see that happening.

There are issues it seems between daughter and mother
that we are not privvy to (or is it privy)
anyway
it is not in a child's best interest to determine if a couple stays together...
those people staying together for the kids aren't really doing anyone any favors

and

is it really Missingherloves's choice if his wife comes back or not?

the only choice he has is if she wants to come back, will he take her back

I take offense at the LBS rallying cry that you mention jack because I would do anything for my children
as would you
certainly walk through hell and back without question
but part of being a good parent is not giving them more power than they can handle
and
I don't see MHL to be saying that he is giving the adult reigns to a 13 yr old

and

I certainly went through my stage of hating my mother and her stage of not liking me so much either

[Lostforwords]

But a child can have an affect on the things we go through....and could possibly lead us down a course of action that we don't necessarily want to pursue. If his daughter keeps pushing that mom is horrible....soon MHL will agree (conditioned response-psychology 101).

I can see the problem that MHL could/does face. It is daunting to say the least.

In defense of Jack's statement. My wife was forced to live with her severely depressed mom through her teenage years. She despised her then. When we met...she despised her. Currently they can only talk for about 10 minutes on the phone before a fight breaks out and forget face to face. So in some cases it is not a stage.

[Cadet]

...Point.

But secondary.

Are you saying that a 13 year old child who doesn't want her mom in her life should affect the choice of the husband to stay married?

My point was only the stage. I agree with the rest. Although fig has a good post.