Unfortunately, I do get in God's way and try to help Him do things---usually because He does things in His time, not mine.
Can't my will be His will? (not being serious, I am criticizing my own
The pastor's message was really something, but some of the time, the W was trying to distract my 10yr old (playing with her hand, whispering, etc.)--W also seemed like the Holy Spirit was making her a little uncomfortable, if you know what I mean.
I rather put a stop to that discreetly and motioned d10 to pay attention and I put my arm around her.
My d-15 was quietly crying during some of the sermon--W kept pestering me as to why.
I finally whispered in Wife's ear that d was upset because it was like we were a family again, but she knew we really weren't. Wife gave me a dirty look, but I just ignored it and was listening to sermon. (I kept an arm around each of my girls)
W was later crying a little during the actual baptism--not sure if just emotional, or what.
Wife had lost more weight and was looking really good, but her eyes looked very strange, like she was pained, or her soul was not there, or something.(kinda like stoned) I don't think she was on any pain meds or anything. Any insights? It was like she wasn't her self in her eyes.
Later, I called wife and told her we were changing visiting things around. She was no longer going to sometimes pick-up/take kids to school, or sometimes stay a few minutes, or not show up, or come take furniture, clothes, use computer, or generally come and go whenever she pleased.
I told her it was scheduled visits only, like regular separated/divorced couples do. I also changed the locks and told her so. It was too hard on the girls the way she was previously doing it--- like a tease or a disappointment with a roller-coaster effect on them.
It was really weird the way she responded to everything I said---I was authoritatively telling her how it was going to be, and she listened and responded almost like one of the kids (or her old self) in deferrence to my authority. I actually think she liked my taking full charge of the situation and I must admit, I felt more empowered and less of a victim.
Today she wanted to schedule getting some stuff Thursday, to which I agreed, but I told her she would have to be there before I left for work in the AM so she could get in. She was kinda shocked I had already changed the locks! She said, "What time do I need to be there?"--in a very
She was also wanting her motorcycle, which I said she could have as soon as she got insurance and we transferred title. I don't want her as a liability!
I also griped at her about her not getting our son(her son, my stepson, and he's living with her and OM)-- to school like she needs to be doing. I said I was afraid he would fail. She assured me she was working on it.
The sitch is a slight bit better now, like she is not "in control" in such a squirrely way as she has been.
Strangely enough, "controlling" is one thing she was complaining about (I really was not so controlling, she had a lot of free rein to do as she pleased---kinda obvious now)
Anyways, I think she LIKES my taking control of the whole sitch.
Things do not look like any better for our M; she is in love w/OM--but maybe, just maybe, SOMETHING good is happening. I do keep praying alllllll the time.
Her "eye-thing" really kinda bugs me though---they were half-closed and she seemed rather detached from herself or even almost evil. I wish I could see her eyes lately since I have been "taking charge"--I wonder if they are different, now??
M:48 W:35 S:16 D:15 D:10 Md: 12 & 1/2 years bomb: Jan 8 ? she moved out about then also Moved in w/OM soon after
