I understand from personal experience how it's possible to have several years of sexual passion (though not entirely satisfying because immature) which then gets side-tracked when one's unexplored issues overshadow the youthful passion, etc. It's a good thing that your W has those memories to build on!
If your MIL was so sexually negative, where was your FIL in all this?
Part of my point was that, in the mindset I was in, there wasn't any difference between H being "tentative" and "consultative"--either one interrupted the flow, made it seem as though my H was unsure where to go next, and transported me in a split second from "in the mood" to "mood's gone for tonight." Emotionally, I appreciated my H's support, but it did nothing for me sexually--that part could only be controlled by changes which I had to make.
