We quit becoming friends and became co-parents and roommates. I didn't know it was happening, I just thought this was normal in a marriage and even though I wouldn't classify our marriage as great I figured we had a strong commitment to one another and might have been goign through a bit of a rough period. We had 4 kids so I used that as an excuse I think.
We drifted apart. The unfortunate thing is that I didn't wake up and really figure it out for real until an OM had started filling this role with my W. It turns out I should have known earlier as she developed a parallell life with a group of people she started training with. She enjoyed her time with them and I wasn't part of that. It actually became a source of friction before OM showed up.
It would have been so easy to put in an effort to keep a strong connection with my W, but who knows, it may not have made a difference. It is hard to say. It seems like whatever problems we had in the M are now being dug up to justify what she has done in the past year with OM and why she now wants to leave.
I think this whole thing is really about her, but I know I could have done more to keep our M stronger which might have made a difference.
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline
