Just want my H back

[trytryagain]

(((hhh)))

i know the back and forth feelings, one day up, next day down, overanalyzing - should i have said this, should i not have said that. you're not alone. i think it's perfectly ok to have a bad day here and there. i took a hot shower myself on friday night and let my tears flow when i decided to spend the evening with friends instead of my H. it was the 5 year anniversary of our first date. obviously you will still have feelings for him, but i do agree with others here that you are letting what he says manipulate the way you feel. you are always ALWAYS in control of your reactions and your emotions and how you respond to other people. it's totally ok to feel the way you feel, but please don't let yourself think that YOU drove your H away. just like i am not alone in what brought my M to the point it's at, neither are you. everyone makes mistakes and no one knows how to be a perfect spouse. but like GoBison said, HE is the one who chose to leave and not work things out, not you. don't let what he says make you think anything different. you were willing to own up to your mistakes. you were the one willing to work things out.

don't let him make you feel bad over money, either. he may "need" it more than you do, but that doesn't mean that he deserves it or has earned it or has the right to have it. don't feel like a b$tch for looking out for yourself financially. remember he wouldn't be in the situation of setting up a payment plan with you had he not wanted out in the first place.

big hugs...keep talking to god and finding your answers within yourself. you are the only one who knows what's best for you!