Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

DW,
Thanks for checking in on me, no more positives but no real negatives either, I would say my kids are the ones experiencing the negatives, especially my daughter.

My S9 stayed with my W on Friday night and was supposed to be with her until mid afternoon on Saturday, however we never discussed it in detail. Not much for my son to do at the house where my W rents a room. So he usually wants to come home to play with friends and be "at home" after being with her overnight. I have let her spend time at the house with him when my D13 and I are gone before, but this upsets my D13. She feels violated and thinks Mom is going through her stuff, makes D13 physically ill. (no kidding)

Well, D13's soccer game was over and her and I went out to eat lunch and was returning to the house around 1 pm and as we were pulling up to the house there was my W's car. My D13 froze in her seat, she was petrified. I turned the car around and headed to the neighborhood clubhouse parking lot. Obviously we were not expecting my W to be there. I was pissed too b/c I had left a lot of legal stuff there pertaining to the pending legal separation.

I collected my calm and called the house and spoke to my W and said that we were not expecting her to be there. She knows her presense upsets our D13. She left and passed us as she was leaving and called on the cell to ask if D13 was upset, I said yes but I would call her back. I was pretty mad and knew I did not need to speak with her, so I texted her back and said "I will call later" I tried calling around 4pm but got no answer and did not leave a message.

D13 stayed in room all day and slept most of the day, showing all the signs of depression. She ended up staying up most of the night on Saturday and she also wrote a letter to Mom, don't know if she will send it or have me give it to her. It might be one of the letters that is written and never sent. It was 8 pages long and very much was like a letter any of us would write and never send. Basically, accusing mom of being a slut, destroying the family, blaming her for everything, being selfish, weak, lying, etc. The real zinger was that my D13 said if her Grandfather (W's father) was still alive, she would not be doing any of this stuff (ironically my W is replaying her father's controling and verbal abuse on her in childhood).

I will say this much, my D13 was feeling much better on Sunday and felt more in contol, she started a folder with various things she has written over the last 7-8 months of the nightmare. She is very bright and mature for her age and is starting to deal with it in a healthy way. I can tell she wants a R with her mom but desparately wants mom to stop hurting her and her brother and me.

Whew, sorry, long winded response to "just checking in"

I did have a good Saturday night with best friend just hanging out and visited a 50th B-day party for a poker buddy in the neighborhood.