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I say fix it if it's going to burden YOU financially...

If not, tell her to take it somewhere. She is using your son for a guilt trip.


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BigJake Offline OP
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Thanks marriedCrazy.

I emailed her, telling her I would look at it. I don't where to draw line when it comes to this stuff. I'm still her husband. I still feel obligated. Very confusing.


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BigJake Offline OP
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Latest emails...

Me:I will look at it tonight.

I would appreciate you not using our son against me like this. You know how hard this is for me. Don't you think I want to help you? You don't know what I'm thinking, if you would like to know you can ask. Taking money out for this may or may not make me "happy". It's not your place to assume I will or won't be. It's not about money for me. It's about a lot more.

I understand your desperation. It's not a good feeling when you don't know what else to do.

W: I'm not trying to use S8 against you, but when I ask you to look at it and you hesitate and say "i don't know" it makes me think that you don't want to, and I can't help but think that you want to punish me for what I'm doing, and one way to do that would be to not help me if I need help.


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Quote:
W: I'm not trying to use S8 against you, but when I ask you to look at it and you hesitate and say "i don't know" it makes me think that you don't want to, and I can't help but think that you want to punish me for what I'm doing, and one way to do that would be to not help me if I need help


Not punishing directly.... but certainly showing consequences for poor decisions. If she wants out, see what life will be like without you.


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BigJake Offline OP
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Should I reply with some version that? I have been trying to get her to see what life would be like without me. Each part of me I remove from her life make her upset. What do I stand my ground on? What about the next time this happens?


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I wouldn't reply with anymore on this topic. You've already said that you would look at it. I'd be silent about your reasons. let it go for now.

If an opportunity arises in the future; you might have an opportunity to throw a "truth dart" her way concerning the way you will, or better yet, WILL NOT be interacting. She doesn't want you as H; then you won't treat her like one.


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Originally Posted By: BigJake
W just called. Said she doesn't know why she sent the txt. She said she was a little drunk and feeling lonely. I didn't know how to respond. I said I see and the conversation kind of fizzled out.

drunk texting. LOL. I'd
fix her car at night and bring her a bottle of wine!
Have the dad take your son to a movie, then to applebees, then for midnight putt-putt. tell him if i dont answer my phone please sleep at my house. She sounds unsure what she really wants.

Originally Posted By: BigJake
After the initial OW concerns I reassured her I was not looking for anyone. She knows what/who I want, I'm not going to make that mistake. By the end of the conversation she turned her jealousy into concerns of my going out and drinking too much on the weekends. She doesn't want me to get a DWI, die on the way home, or do something stupid.


Advice my dad gave to me a couple years ago: he said, there comes a time when life changes you. You change. Your wife changes. There's a little blue pill. When you need them; get them. Keep her happy. Keep her happy.

keep her happy!

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BigJake Offline OP
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SMcQ thanks for joining in on what like to call my reality TV show.
I think your spin on the car repair is great. Too bold? I could see things going badly. I do like the way you think. Thanks.


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Originally Posted By: BigJake
SMcQ thanks for joining in on what like to call my reality TV show.
I think your spin on the car repair is great. Too bold? I could see things going badly. I do like the way you think. Thanks.


Is it "too bold" or are you too afraid to do it?
Be confident, you don't always have to be afraid of her reaction, in fact, it's unattractive to her that you fear her reaction.

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BigJake Offline OP
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Chicken Mc. Fly?
Nobody calls me chicken!

I'm in no way afraid to do it. I was under the impression something like this would be pursuing her. Will she see it as ploy? Not like that wouldn't stop me from doing it.

Last edited by BigJake; 03/01/10 07:24 PM.

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