Too Late For Us?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

This may not sound like a big deal to anyone but, this morning I went to Starbucks for coffee instead of walking over to the wife's apartment. It was difficult for me not to bring something back for her. This is what I would have done when the marriage was good. I continued to do "nice" things as marriage went bad. Not a big deal but its a step in the right direction.

I agree! Good job of detaching!

Puppy

[mrbt]

Okay divorce busting friends. I was doing really well today but too little too late. I received an e-mail from my attorney with a draft of the marriage dissolution agreement (prepared by w's attorney). I had a private emotional meltdown for about an hour. Then W came by to see if I was okay (she knew this was coming today). She stayed for about 10 minutes until I escorted her to the door ( no hug, no kiss, just a polite goodbye ). I guess, if there was ever a time to go dark, it is now.

[mrbt]

Should I stall on approving the draft agreement or just get it over with?

[ShockedOne]

That is a personal decision. If you want to stall, then stall. However, divorce does not have to be the end. It can be a start to the new beginning.

[mrbt]

I think I am just going to leave this dissolution agreement thing sit for a while. I have a trip (for work) scheduled. I leave Saturday and will be gone for a week. I will just see what things are like when I return.

[Number 8]

mrbt, I think it's a good idea to let it sit for a while. You don't have to act on it right now. I think you're right in giving yourself some time.

Hope your trip goes well!

[mrbt]

I slept well last night (with the help of some medication) but I always wake up feeling depressed. When I first open my eyes I feel okay until I remember the situation I am in. Then I notice the other side of my bed is empty. Its so quiet here. The mornings are always difficult.

Just venting. : (

[mrbt]

It sucks how divorce turns what once was good into a business transaction. This was the e-mail received Monday morning.

Dear Mr. Soon-to-Be-Divorced-Like-It-Or-Not,

Attached please find copies of the revised Marital Dissolution Agreement (MDA) and Final Decree (FD) that our office received from opposing counsel, Mrs. I-will-divorce-you. Once you have an opportunity to review the documents, please let us know if they meet with your approval or if any modifications need to be made. As always, feel free to contact our office with any questions or concerns.

Thanks,
Mr. Paralegal
Paralegal for Mrs. Attorney

[mrbt]

Hi All. I think its time to give up. It doesn't matter how much I want to save our marriage if wife it determined to end it.

Late last night after work (10:30PM) wife stopped at my place for a visit (horrible job going dark I know). She said she wasn't staying but then fell asleep next to me in bed.

I know spending the night didn't mean anything, but when I woke up in the morning she was there, still sleeping by my side. Things felt normal for just a few seconds. Then my fog lifted and I was faced with reality again.

She left for work and then sent me a text message: "get those papers signed before you leave." She was referring to the marital dissolution agreement. I am leaving Saturday for a week long trip (for work).

[ShockedOne]

My question to you is, "is there a timeline on signing the papers?" You no longer have to do anything for your STBXW, unless required. You do not need to sign the papers just to satisfy her. She tries to play hard ball when it favors her, but then "sucks up" to you if she feels it may favor her....ie...sleeping over. You need to drop the rope, stop letting her pull your strings. You do not need to reply to any texts, emails, answer calls, that you do not want to. If you want to stop fighting, I completely understand, I was in a similar place. It was good to for me to stop, it allowed me to move on with no more regrets. I put in all I could, and once I realized it was a losing battle, I agreed and we ended it. I was fighting for something I thought would be best, but in the end I finally came to the conclusion that XW was now making my life very unhappy, and I no longer wanted that.