New here but have been a voyeur

[pearlharbr]

Agreeing with Truegritter. People having affairs usually cheat down. It's not about you, it's about WAS making themselves feel good the easiest way possible. OW in my sitch wasn't as bad as yours but she's definitely not at my level--she'd had affairs with two other married men that I knew of, was a lot less attractive, and not nearly as smart. And this is from others' perspectives, not just mine. What she was: a drinker, a smoker, and easy.