Spouse Suffering From Depression

[Lucky11too]

I completely agree. The term "bachelor husband" nails it on the head! I've been thinking about this too. I'm a little in the wait and see mood right now, as I want to see if the sleep surgery helps him or not, but after that, I'm think I'm gong to have to address some of these issues head on. I've been avoiding them for now b/c he really has not been in an emotional mindset to do so with his ADD and depression so bad. It's the sleep surgery is not successful (I know I'll have to give it a little time to let his sleep cycle to to get back in order and help his ADD), I want to make sure he goes back to the ENT and/or psychiatrist to explore other options. As long as he keeps trying, I can keep trying (in that sense, no matter how long it takes). But on the other hand, I am not going to wait around, just so he can make more money. That is where the difference lie for me. Also to address as his issues start getting resolved is MC. Like I said, as long as he keeps working on himself and towards us, I can keep going with him. But he is not willing to progress us (MC) and himself (getting ADD/depression under livable control), then I cannot continue either. So like you said, not trying to make specific date timelines, but keeping an idea of how events need to progress. But I do know this current situation is not how I want to or should be treated, and if H can't step up, then I will at some point need to move on.

So specifics of yesterday, I asked H what time he worked and he responded right now, so then I asked him if he wanted to do lunch. No response. A few hours later, "sorry it took me so long to respond, but I can't make lunch work." Um, ok, I appreciate him finally responding and not ignoring me, but what was he doing? Checking his options? That night he texted to ask about S and I respond. A little bit later, he texts that he is bored. I'm just laying in bed, so I text him back about different random things, just to chat b/c he's bored. But then I don't hear back from him again and then he just answers the questions in list form (but I'm glad didn't just ignore me). To that, I just say I'm tired and good night and he responds good night. So that was that. I don't know. I struggle a bit with how to act with him. Like I keep saying, I don't really know where he is at with us, so I don't know what he expects from me. So, I guess we'll just see how this week goes. Anniversary on Thursday!