Have you ever thought about a 180 with mom where she starts attacking him and you got up and left the room?
Based on what you said, I'd wonder if your mom has, perhaps, told your H that she doesn't care for him before this separation round. If that is the case, and it might not be, I doubt a H (any man, not just him) can feel great visiting your family with you if he isn't sure you'd stand up for him. My parents/sister have complaints about my W and me both. When they talk about any of us, though, it is usually with respect for the person. My mom made it really clear that she doesn't think my W should drive (ever) because she can't follow directions. That isn't the same as if she said, "give up on hoping your W will learn or trying to teach her". I need our moms/others pointing out what we don't want to see...but there has to be a limit, I think.
