how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

well, my mom is a all at once kind of attacker. once she feels the need to tell me her opinion, not even the hoover damn could keep her emotions back. she is going to tell you what she thinks and you are going to sit there and listen. period, end of story. after she was done i told her that while i respected her opinions, i didn't need to hear about what an a$$ she thinks my H is right now and that was most of the reason why i'd stopped calling as much. i said, if you let up on that, i'll call more. plan and simple. i guess she just feels like anyone that could leave me 2 times could never actually love me. my H said to me last night before we parted ways that my family will "always hate" him. i said, they won't always hate you...but they will never understand you the way that i do. they are not very quick forgives. my mother especially. ESPECIALLY if she's already told you that if you do something again, she'll never forgive you. that's just how she operates. three strikes YOU ARE OUT. no questions asked.

my coach suggested therapy because she said i have some issues i need to work through before i can "move forward" with my healing process. i guess her thought is that i'd just be sweeping some things under the rug or trying to build something on top of an unstable foundation if i don't explore these things with a professional. thankfully my insurance will help me cover the expense, so hopefully i can find someone i click with. i am a BIG FAN of therapy!