Just want my H back

[pearlharbr]

hhh,

You are responsible for getting on and off the roller coaster. If you didn't want to fight with H then you should have asked him to leave and come back at another time.

You know darn well that sending the email was a good and necessary thing and also that it did not cause your D. Yep, it was definitely that one email I sent on 2/24 that ended my marriage. Up until that point I knew we had a chance to work things out but that one email nailed the coffin lid shut. Can you see how silly that seems?

Yes, fighting over money is bad. That's why you should leave it up to the lawyers. No matter what you may think at this moment, giving in to him is not going to win you any points. He's just pushing your buttons to get what he wants. Same old story. Remember, he chose the actions so he chose the consequences. Period.

Regarding him telling you that you drove him away--it's time to let this go. He may continue telling you that for the next 10 years. Why? Because he knows how you will react and it makes him feel better about being a coward and walking away. Stop reacting. If someone kept insisting that the sky is green would you continue to argue about it? Obviously they're wrong but it doesn't change what you know to be the truth. Accept that that is the way he feels and nothing you ever say or do will change it. Doesn't make him right. Just releases you from the turmoil you're inflicting upon yourself.

Now stop wallowing! It's perfectly normal and understandable that you'd be sad after meeting with H and getting the paperwork going. Feel those feelings. But that shouldn't mean you're back to ground zero or even 10 steps back. Shake it off, remind yourself of all the good things going on in your life and turn on the PMA.