How (and who) to expose if OP is not married

[4luv]

I had to run but here is the rest...

Husband came back and told me what he found out about his father from dad's wife.

1. Husband's dad and wife are recently divorced. They were married for twenty years but he constantly cheated and she swept alot of things under the rug but couldn't take it anymore. She said that even though they were together for so long he always kept up a wall...never let anyone in too close to his feelings. She also said that his dad goes from woman to woman, job to job, always running from any situation looking for something but that he is really running from himself. She said that he has a strained relationship with his mom (husband's grandma whom we both met 4 the first time at my husband's college graduation) but that they talk everyday but its only a surface relationship.

2. Husband told her that the last memory he has of his father and of her was when they went to court for the paternity test when he was 9 years old. Hsuband was telling me in the car that he even remembered the clothes he was wearing that day and how is mom told him that it was a shame that a judge had to tell a man that a child was his and to take care of him. Husband said after the results were read his dad said "I want another test!! That is not my child!" The judge told his dad he could take another test but that the blood test concluded that 99.9% that was his son and he could pay for another test if he wanted to but the ruling stood.

3. The ex-wife went on to say that husband's dad doesn't really have a relationship with their son or husband's other brother which is by his first wife. Her husband does have a relationship with husband's little sister who is only 7 years old.

4. She ended up giving my husband his dad's phone number before we left.

Afterwards, husband wanted to go sit down and eat and we did and he just said how much anger he has inside. how he doesn't understand how his dad could live a couple of streets over from him and never even call to say "happy birthday" or "merry christmas." Why he didn't even come to one of his football games or his graduations! I listened...and agreed with husband. He has a right to be angry. Husband then said that he does want the family life, to go to church as a family, build a house, etc but he feels like he needs to complete this missing puzzle of himself first and that he wants to do it alone.

All in all, ALOT happened this weekend. Husband plans on calling his dad sometime this week and hopefully meeting up with him on his next visit home. Just called me again to tell me that he is feeling scared about talking to his dad. He doesn't want to end up disappointed. This is really all too much for me to deal with. These are issues that I have no knowledge of so I will hopefully find a GOOD FT that can handle this as well as foucs on the marriage.