You let your attorney handle any withholding of maintenance. That's illegal, and once your husband knows you have retained an attorney and aren't going to roll over when it comes to your children, he'll come thru.
As for what you say about why you did it, that one's simple: "I felt he had a right to know." That's your ONLY answer.
When you expose, your husband will be LIVID, but he WILL get over it. I am 99% sure he will say something to the effect of "Well, you've now blown ANY chance we had of getting back together." It's pure SCRIPT. Just say "I'm really sorry you feel that way. I felt he had a right to know."
If this is a big "180" for you to be so bold, then it will be all the more effective, and you also won't have to do MUCH in order to get his attention and his respect.
